BREATHE...Don't BLAST


Well, I'm cheating....I have a short anger-blaster book that people have asked me to share.  It's too lengthy to blather the whole mess right here, so I'll stick some of it out here and if you like it and want more, just follow the link.  Sound good?

Here goes:

Anger DE-escalation Tools

When triggered, your “fight-or-flight” response is also triggered, which causes your heart to race, blood flow to change (possibly causing tingling, coldness, and numbness). Your breathing to speed up – might even include chest pain, breathlessness, and a choking feeling, dizziness or blurred vision. Your muscles tense and prepare; you sweat, your pupils dilate, and you are more alert.
Your goal is to shut off this effect, tell your body that there IS NO THREAT, so your BRAIN can engage, allowing you to RESPOND rationally rather than REACTing in ANGER.
Here is how:
  • Belly Breathing: Belly Breathing is a simple way to diffuse fight or flight, and it is easy to use anywhere at any time. Sit comfortably, placing one hand on your belly. Breath in through your nose, deeply enough that the hand on your abdomen rises; count to 7. Hold for 2 counts; exhale through your mouth, counting to 11; feel the hand on your belly sink. Repeat this at least 4 times. This extinguishes the adrenaline upshot caused by rising anger, allowing you to THINK and RESPOND rather than REACT.
  • Distraction: The purpose of distraction is to allow the fight or flight – adrenaline response (caused by your anger) to subside. By distracting yourself for 15-20 minutes, you’ll can handle the source or trigger of your anger in a productive manner. Some suggestions: take a walk, ride a bike, meditate, listen to music, bake cookies, call a friend, lift weights, walk a pet, write a letter, play guitar, run a mile, watch a movie, play a game, eat a healthy meal, pray.
  • Take a Break: Time-outs work well for relationships where anger-induced disagreements cause big challenges. One person says, “take a break,” or “time-out,” and both partners agree to walk it off or leave the problem alone for a designated time period (20 minutes to 60 minutes). They return only when they have cooled down enough to discuss the topic without getting angry.
  • Know Your Anger Alarms: Anger Alarms are the signs given by your body that your anger is nearing the boiling point. Learning to see and sense these alarms will help you to channel your anger while it is at a manageable level. Some of these alarms include: tensed muscles, tightened fists, sweating, hyper-focusing on the problem, flushing, headaches, snapping at people for no reason, sick stomach, and more.
  • Counting: Counting to ten is an old tactic but effective. By counting before you speak, you engage the left side of your brain (the analytical side) and disengage the right side, the side that imagines catastrophy. Once the left side of your brain is engaged, you can think logically and put the situation into a clear perspective.
  • Think all the way through: (after breathing) When you can THINK, Think about this ~ What will happen if I follow through with this ANGRY action? Will yelling, fighting, or shouting change the mind or heart of this person? Will you be less angry, happy, at peace after following through?

Laughter is another great anger diffuser.

Okay! What Next?

For more.... visit https://squareup.com/store/joshua1nine-counseling 

or 

https://www.joshua1nine.com/breathe 

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